As a parent we experience so many different stages while watching our children grow. There’s what I like to call the ‘eat/sleep/poop’ stage, the teething stage, the first words,steps, etc. From my own experience, each stage brought me so much joy however, I always seemed to be desperate for the future. What I mean is that I was fixated on what was to come and not what was in front of me. I found myself saying things like, ‘ I can’t wait until Jayden can do this or say that', 'I cant wait until he is older...' Now that I look back, it makes me feel foolish and it makes me wonder, as parents do we really live in the beautiful moments we are blessed with or are most of us trapped in an endless cycle of awaiting for what is to come ?
The truth is that living in the moment can sometimes be easier said than done. It is so easy to get carried away with the excitement of the future and other times be haunted by the past. For a long time I found myself wishing to speed through time and as I reflect on it now, I noticed that it said a lot about my character at the time. I needed to do a lot of mental healing and therefore the unhappiness within me caused an imbalance with everything else including my parenting. This is one of the many reasons I always preach self-love and all things that lead to a positive mental state. In the end it really does come down to your relationship with yourself first because we project all of our inner emotions to those closest to us. In my case, I kept rushing through every moment, as if I wasn’t satisfied with what I had in front of me and that really was unfair to my family let alone myself.
One thing is for sure, being a parent does not come with a guidebook. Sure, there are several books you gain perspectives from but in the end parenting is an experience and every parent has a different one. So for me I had to make these mistakes in order to learn right from wrong. Believe it or not, as a parent you are your own guidebook.
Life will quickly show you that time FLIES and as a parent that lesson seems to magnify with each breath you take. My son has grown in what feels to be the blink of an eye and I am sure every parent can relate to that. I have now wished to have back the very stages I use to want to rush through. I know it may sound crazy but perhaps it was a lesson only parenthood could teach me best; learning to appreciate the moment by building a stronger relationship with myself. Please take from this, the importance of your own mental health and how that ties into something as crucial as LIVING IN THE MOMENT.